How to Support Victims and Survivors

How do I help someone I care who has been sexually harassed or assaulted?

1. Listen to them patiently. Believe them.
2. Listen without judging - give him or her plenty of time to talk.
3. Encourage them to call the Rape Crisis Hotline to learn more about their available options.
4. Do not revictimize the survivor; listening comes before discussing solutions.
5. Continue to be his/her friend while expressing your concern for his/her safety.
6. Understand that some comments about the offender may very well be mixed messages; he or she will express both good and bad feelings.
7. Supply him or her with referrals to local agencies that help victims of sexual assault.
8. Educate yourself about the issue.
9. Volunteer to become a Rape Care Advocate

Sometimes, it is difficult to focus on your loved when you have strong emotions about the incident. You may feel guilty for not protecting the victim, or wonder if the victom could have prevented the harrassment/assault. Reassure the victim and yourself that the offender is to blame for the harrassment or assault.

The aftermath of sexual harrasment/assualt often disrupts the close bond you have with a loved one. As a result, you become a secondary victim of the crime. it is not uncommon to be frustrated, impatient, and to want revenge against the offender. However, this can bring more grief for both the victim and you.

Contact our hotline to assist you with your struggles. You may find that facing your own thoughts and feelings will help you gain a better understanding of the situation and promote healing in botht he victim and yourself.


10 Things Men Can Do to End Violence Against Women
By Anthony Porter and Ted Bunch

1) Understand and acknowledge the role male privilege and socialization play in sexual assault, domestic violence, and all forms of violence against women.

2) Examine and challenge our own sexism and the role we play in supporting men's violence against women.

3) Stop being a part of this violence by agreeing that this mistreatment is alright, this only supports the abuse of the perpetrator. Get out of defined roles in society, take a stance, and stop being passive.

4) Remember that our silence is affirming. When we choose not to speak out, we are supporting the behavior.

5) Educate and re-educate our sons and other young men about our responsibility in ending violence against women.

6) Challenge our homophobia, which has been designed to get in the way of ending violence against women, and stops us from actively getting involved in this struggle --- labelling violence against women a "women's issue," not one we should all be a part of.

7) Accept our responsibility, violence against women will not end until men become part of the solution to end it. While a criminal justice response to sexual assault and domestic violence is necessary, a cultural and social shift is required.

8) Stop pathologzing men's violence. Blaming addictions, mental illness, anger management, stress, etc... they are not the reason nor cause. violence against women is a man's choice, rooted in and supported by sexism.

9) Do not support resources being utilized to divert our attention from the efforts needed to create appropriate and effective systems of accountability.

10) Accept leadership from women. Violence against women will end only when we take direction from those who understand it most, women.